GAW and the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad waitress

Much fun was had at GAW. Good friends, good weather, kind and generous hosts, ridiculously good weather, fireworks, yummy food, waterskiing, ski-bobbing, floating around the lake, handmade jewelry, Pamida and Giant Twine Balls. But the part AKJ says I have to write about is the waitress.

Those of you who were at last year's GAW will remember Cafe Persepolis, the surprisingly marvellous Greek/Italian/Persian restaurant in Willmar. (And the adorable owner, whom we wanted to put in our pocket and take home.) AKJ had the inspired idea to return this year, and the food was just as good and the owner just as adorable as we remembered. (Though I'm afraid we freaked the owner out by being inappropriately happy to see him.) But our waitress ... oh, the waitress. The tiny, cute, very teenage waitress whose desperate need of a class in tact kept us well entertained all evening.

After seeming entirely at a loss by our entrance, she suggested a table for us in the mostly empty restaurant, then made us wait until it was cleaned off. No big deal, but our first glimpse at a sort of vacancy we were to become better acquainted with. The rest of the meal went like this:

[I ordered a beer and got carded.]
Me: "Hey, I got carded!"
Clueless Waitress: "I had this friend who was, like, 16? And she looked, like, in her THIRTIES or something. I card everyone. If you don't it's, like, a $700 fine."

Dear Clueless Waitress: Old people will exclaim over being carded. The correct response is to smile or just ignore it. It's like "How are you?"/"Fine" or a comment about the weather. It's a meaningless verbal space-filler. You don't respond by talking about your friend who looked so ancient she could have passed for my age.

[Taking orders: I order the moussaka, AKJ orders the gyros dinner, Suzuri is wavering between the two.]
Suzuri: "Which would you recommend, the moussaka or the gyros dinner?"
CW: [immediately] "Gyro dinner. Don't get the moussaka. It's all fatty [glances over at me] and stuff. It's kinda gross. I don't like it."

Dear CW: This should really go without saying, but don't describe the meal at your restaurant as fatty and gross, especially when talking to someone who has just ordered it.

[After ordering, I scooted off to the restroom. AKJ and Suzuri were discussing whether CW was going to remember that Suzuri had ordered a glass of wine.]
CW: "Your friend just went to the restroom, didn't she?
AKJ: "Yeah."
CW: [stands there aimlessly for a minute] "Um, was there anything else you needed?"
AKJ: "The wine Suzuri ordered?"
[CW goes to get the wine, AKJ and Suzuri wonder why she was asking about my whereabouts, surmise that it's because they're out of the moussaka, lay odds on whether I'll just leave if that's the case...CW returns with Suzuri's wine.]
Suzuri: "So what did you need Pusher for?"
CW: "Oh. I didn't. I needed the bathroom."

[Partway through meal, as we've decimated the pita that was served with appetizers and now need more for AKJ & Suzuri's gyros...]
Suzuri: "We're going to need more pita."
CW: "DEFINITELY."

What was funny about that one was the tone she said it in. Sort of a "You totally do after how grotesquely fast you crammed down that first basket."

So, yeah. A little lacking in the social graces, but very amusing for us. :-)