post-NaNo deconstruction

NaNo was ... weird this year. In a lot of ways it was easily my best year yet. I sat down to write, and I wrote. Most years it's an agonizing process involving lots of glaring at the monitor willing the words to appear. This year, I just ... wrote.

It has also, however, been the least satisfying year. In past years, I've failed, I've finished the story without hitting 50,000 words, I've hit 50,000 words without finishing the story, you name it. But I have less of a sense of accomplishment this year than I have some of the years I've given up completely. I suspect it's because this year's NaNo didn't seem to have a thing to say.

In the past, when I've trashed the results of the month-long struggle, it's been with a sense of triumph, a resounding "And there goes that bastard! Ha ha!" This year, it was more like just dragging the thing to where it belonged. Maybe it's because it sucked so completely. Or maybe it's just the let-down of success. Or maybe I'm just cranky and in a few more days I'll feel better about the whole thing.

Anyway, I'm already thinking about next year. I've tried going in with nothing, I've tried going in with a general plot but no specifics, and one year I had the whole damn thing outlined. There doesn't seem to be a pattern of success/failure there. The one thing I did this year that I think I'll try again was, when my mind just drifted away and didn't want to focus anymore, instead of getting up and walking around or getting a drink or whatever, I stayed at the computer. I kept typing. I had a second document up where I'd write crap like, "And now I'm taking a break until my brain comes back. It's cold out. I think I would like a cookie." or whatever, just keeping my fingers moving. Then eventually I'd go back to the NaNo. It seemed to work.

I'd also like to offer a hearty CONGRATULATIONS to everyone else who attempted it (or NaBloPoMo) this year! Give yourselves a pat on the back. Whether you finished or not, you earned it.