Why does my brain just completely shut down when confronted by corporatese? Doesn't it have any idea how damned inconvenient this is considering I work in marketing? Stupid brain.
(Why yes, it is time for me to be filling out my annual review, and yes I am utterly stumped as to how, exactly, I can show that in the past year I "Maintain[ed] customer focus while driving continuous improvement and innovation and adhere[d] to high standards of process discipline to achieve exemplary productivity and quality." Ow. And that's just one section of twelve.)
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Speaking of driving improvement, I am seriously considering implementing a shopping cart driving course in the front of the store. If a customer can't successfully navigate the narrow, winding course, they don't get a wheeled cart -- they have to use the hand baskets. Too many of them regularly crash into stuff in the store.
Maybe it's the 92-93 Monticello Princess in me, but I'm sadly fantastic at corporatese. Want some help?
Holy crap, is it all just one big HR department now? Although, come to think of it...why do you never hear of companies outsourcing or downsizing HR? Hmmmm. (strokes chin) I feel a consultancy opportunity coming on.
You could try what I did for a few years: "In the past year, I became a being of light and energy. In the coming year, I will overcome the boundaries of time and space."
Um... my brain hurts...
Good luck.
Dear Mr. Wog: my brain already hurts, please to not be adding to the dizziness by switching verbs to adjectives, thx. (Seriously though. There are some stores you just shouldn't use a cart in unless you absolutely need to. Why is that so hard to understand?)
Syl? You scare me. :-) I appreciate the offer though, and totally would have taken you up on it if I'd read your comment before I finished.
Temp, I adore you. I probably could have gotten away with that with my old supervisor. My new one, however, is the only one allowed to be funny in any given room. Sigh.
And Ms. Huis, yes. Exactly. I'm glad I'm not the only one!
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